11 hours & counting...tick, tick...

tick...the strokes of the second hand on the clock tick...as it's now 4 AM Saigon time...the Tylenol PM has worn off and my mind is back on, in gear with full anticipation & emotions of what the next 11 hrs. will bring... I said the last post would be the "last" one before seeing Maile, and here I am again...trying to sort through my feelings/ thoughts that rush through like a wave crashing onto shore.

I think this journey back "home" to Saigon has already been more emotional for me than the first one. I am SOOOO thankful to have gone on the Motherland tour last year to see the sights and sounds of SAIGON - it feels strangely PEACEFUL and for anyone who has forged before us to VN, knows that Saigon is anything BUT peaceful as you walk across the street with NO reassurance that the rushing & beeping scooters are NOT going to hit you. You do NOT want to run across the streets of VN, you walk slowly, but agressively enough to know that they see you as a moving target and miraculously (EVERY TIME) they forge around you and zip by!!! (Well, at least I have NOT gotten hit once yet) :) - LOL - I know my mom will love hearing that one! ha.

The first trip last year to my homeland, my eyes were WIDE OPEN and just STUNNED by the craziness, chaos, peddlers on the streets, scooters/ cars honking, the bartering, on and on...then to go tour several orphanages, families on the street, factories where EVERY thing was made from scratch from clay to rice paper for spring rolls...I started seeing a connecting thread, a link that bind the VIETNAMESE people and make them so special & beautiful. It's the SPIRIT of the VN people & their LOVE for family. Families gathered around Pho (VN soup) on the streets with what feels like 110 deg. & 110% humidity, and they are just as content as can be...kids playing with barefeet near by & not a care in the world at 2pm. Their work ethic (for those who can find work) is unbeatable, their poverty level undescribeable, and yet their spirit throughout...unstoppable!

I think feeling "humbled" by my trips to VN is an understatement...it's more like "unworthiness." Why did God choose ME to be plucked out of the orphanage & land in a home with NO father, only a Grandmother & Mother to raise me?? My 2nd chance in life, once again - didn't bring a Father into my life...NO brothers, NO Grandfathers, NO male cousin. I would NOT know the strength & reassurance in ANY male role model telling, "you're pretty," "don't do this when you start dating," "make sure you..." WHATever a fatherly figure can offer a young girl with a yearning heart to "fit in" & just "belong" somewhere...Then, as time would have it...God would bless me with an incredible husband & the 2 most beautiful sons I could ever dream of!!!! My goodness God...you give me no men in my life growing up, then 1 husband & 2 boys (whom I affectionately refer to as my "3 boys" :)) - YES, God DOES have a sense of humor!! :)

Early in my dating years, I would not have seen Don as "my type," - he is "shorter" than the guys I dated & smaller framed...But, as it would turn out, Don is JUST MY TYPE...God placed into my life after years of trials & tribulations that I will not go into, a man that is STRONG in character, full of integrity & honesty, love & dedication to me & his family and with a heart bigger than his whole body! He is the smartest man I know (after serving 6 yrs. in the Air Force as a Russian linguist & now with a Masters in Finance)...and I was just SMART enough to MARRY HIM...

I am SO proud to be an AMERICAN - truly the "Land of the Free"...FREE to be who you want to be, FREE to work, FREE to find the resources to live in a house, drive a car & have a pantry FULL of FOOD. We REALLY do NOT know what a BLESSED & RICH nation we have until you see a 3rd world country like Vietnam stuck back from the passage of time from the VN War. They are still struggling to afford shelter, put shoes on their feet and know when their next meal will be. I am SO proud to be VIETNAMESE as well...a link back to my heritage in the past years has only allowed me to realize the FAMILY LINK is a bond that cannot be broken once you let yourself love & be loved...I believe I have an innate strong "work ethic" - and many know me as the "Crazy Dancin' Realtor" because of my drive to work...NOT so much to "succeed" for status, income or accolades, but merely in the motivation to minister & serve others is so great within me. How can I help you? What can I do for you? seems to be my natural tendency...trusting and receiving help...not my gig...GIVING, that is what my mother taught me is such a PRECIOUS gift. GIVING your love, your help, your TIME...gifts that cannot be bought are the BEST gifts to receive.

I will FOREVER now, more than ever believe I have ONE foot in the States and ONE foot in VIETNAM and together the link that binds the human race is the tenacity & spirit within.

THANK YOU God for the amazing gifts of LIFE that you have given through ADOPTION!!! The God who knows ALL plans, has perfectly aligned this 3rd geneation adoption journey that began Sept. 7, 1898...the day my Grandma Violet was born...I love & miss you so much!!!! I sit here right now with tears in my eyes weeping to know you are not here physically with me anymore to see the family & life I have built. I think you'd be proud of me Grandma!!!! Thank you for the 2nd chance in life for my mom. You raised an incredible daughter whom I am so proud to call "MY MOM!!!" She is my hero & I pray I can raise Maile half as well as you did MY MOM!

Signing off with a heart full of anticipation & unworthiness to be experiencing such a dream come true...Ms. Saigon