Another Orphan Born...

31 Aug 2007
"Another Orphan Born"
The Night before my birthday and piercing all through my heart… Wondering if my birth mother now misses me when my birth day starts?
Does she regret at all giving me away? Does she wonder how my life is now to this day?
My birthday, it’s just another day to me, no big deal… Not a day of celebration or anything real.
Sometimes I struggle fitting in this world I see, wanting to be accepted for just being "me."
Finding peace and happiness at times really tough, Society's standards make it hard to feel, "good enough."
Praying to God for strength and healing from above, And to find true friendships and His true love…


Both of these photos taken in VIETNAM over 25 years apart. I know I have come a LONG way from the orphan in Vietnam to the life I have here in AMERICA, "Land of the Free and the Brave!" It's overwhelming and humbling to imagine God's gifts He has given me within my life. I am grateful, don't get me wrong...I LOVE my family, my 3 boys and new baby girl...my DANCE studio, etc.. However, at the end of the day, in moments of silence, it's hard not to wonder how my birth mother is, does she think of me? Does she know I'm alive...is SHE alive? The older I get and especially now having adopted our daughter, a flood of questions and emotions come to me from the past, present and future....

Forever in my heart, Ms. Saigon

I love LOVE...

HERE'S to Ramon & Cessilye Smith!!!!!
We had the distinct honor and blessing in sharing it the LOVE and JOY of the union in marriage of Ms. Cessilye Spencer and Mr. Ramon Smith. WOW, what a sight to see...2 persons so IN LOVE, so OVERJOYED, so COMMITTED - now ONE flesh. From the vibrant orange, red, burgandy and gold rose petals aisle way, to the stunning bride & wedding party to the exquisit and elaborate dinner at the Gaylord Texan Resort & heartfelt toasts from lifelong family and friends - it was ALL AMAZING!!!!!
Ms. Nestle (whom I have affectionately nicknamed her) warmed our hearts and soul to know we have shared in this chapter of her new life and we anxiously await to welcome her back to Encore after their 2 week HONEYMOON!!!! I know now more than ever her commitment and dedication to Encore's vision, work ethic, serving spirit and kind heart will transcend her being as it has all through her younger years through her adult working life too. It was an honor to hear her KINDERGARTEN TEACHER talk about her caring spirit even as a young student. Ramon's Father shared how his son could have given into the ways of the world to be a D-O-G, but instead eagerly sought to serve G-O-D!!!!!! Wow!!!!! What a testimony!
It was all a blessing, with tears, laughter, joy and love in our hearts, we salute you Mr. and Mrs. Ramon Smith to your NEW journey in life as ONE family, ONE body, ONE spirit...all for Him!!!!


Here's Michelle and I at the DANCE table for our reception dinner awaiting: Lobster bisque, mixed fields of greens with white truffle vinagrette, filet mignon topped with a spinach & porcini mushroom demi-glaze accompanied with asparagus & carrots and fingerlette potatoes and of course, WEDDING cake!!!! The whole evening was sooooo FUN!!!




Here's our first TRIPLE Date, at the Spencer-Smith Wedding, SAT. 25 Aug. 2007!!!! A day we will never forget...

from L-R: Dan & Michelle, Cessilye & Ramon, Kim-Lan & Don :)


The Gaylord Texan is a HUGE resort with Spa, shopping, convention & rooms. I wish we would have had time to eat at the simulated San Antonio "Riverwalk" Cafe. Don & I had not been to the real Riverwalk in over 10 years when celebrating his friend's, TOM's Wedding!!!! wow....It was so cool to feel like you are OUTSIDE but your are NOT. Gotta LOVE the 75 degree weather indoors. The resort is under a glass atrium where the sun can bask in but humidity is low :) - now that's what I'm talking about!!!

A rush from the PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE...

Here is Pastor (Uncle) Kelly praying for Maile and our family as we dedicate Maile Noel Thuy Trang Carlson to the Mighty God that hand-picked her for our family. We are blessed and honored to have her finally HOME with us in our CRAZY, imperfect, but love her so much FAMILY.

"Train up a child in the way they should go, so when they are old, they will not depart from it..." Prov. 22:6


She is NOT just "ours", she belongs to ALL of us who know and love her to raise her up as a child of God's. We are humbled God would weave His plan to allow us to share in and celebrate her littl' life.... THANK YOU God for your plans that you orchestrate even tho' we cannot always see the big picture or purpose! "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." Jer. 29.11



Oh what fun!!!

Here's the Brown, Carlson & Modesto BOYS & "Maile in the middle!!" Here's the line up from L-R: Jeremy, Julian, Miles, Maile, Matthew, Samuel & Joseph

Here I am between my 2 best girls from MICHIGAN & TEXAS!!!! I was thrilled my best friend (that I've known since i was 10) from MICHIGAN came down to meet Maile & my friends here in TX!! It's always bittersweet to link ties from the past and share in our families' lives for a moment in time. Then the reality of how far apart we are rushed back like wind hitting the back door when it was time to say "see you later."

It's been over a month since Sybil left and while we always pick up where we left off, my heart is sad in not knowing when I will see her again. I am sad to see her boys grow up only through pictures, not experience each other b-day parties, family picnics, dance recitals, play dates, girls' night outs, etc... I just cannot believe sometimes we LIVE in TEXAS, still after 4 years now. I have done quite a bit since moving here, did God bring me to TEXAS to get out of my comfort zone? to work in Real Estate? adopt our daughter? open MY first DANCE studio??? I don't know...I rack my brain sometimes, WHY GOD - Texas? why God now??? I have so many questions to ask God when I meet Him someday....

Good night, signing off for now....Ms. Saigon

Ninh Thuan DANCIN' Girls - Maile & Anna

Look who got a hold of Mommy's lipstick to dress up before BALLET class!??? Oh Miss Maile, what are we going to do with you!??? You crack us up on how GIRLY girl you are, I LOVE that you LOVE glitter, pink, to put on my lotion, lipstick, shoes, everything...you are so funny, tender, motherly, halarious, you LIGHT up our hearts, life and world...











Some of my littl' Encore DANCERS waiting their turn to go across the floor! Anna & Maile on far right, from Ninh Thuan's orphanage to FRISCO, TEXAS - together at Encore Centre for DANCE...wow, how GREAT is our God to unite these sweet babies again!!! They are not quite diggin' the DANCE thing on their first day together, but they followed directions very well considering Ms. Kim-Lan was the teacher!!! :) Great fun, I am honored and humbled to LOVE my "job" so much in ministering to my DANCERS at Encore!!!! I am blessed!



After DANCE, Ms. Mandy (Anna's mom) got her weight lifting in for the day, lifting both Anna & Maile (probably around 22# each side)!!! They LOVED being LOVED on, what a gift it is to see their hearts light up, their eyes DANCE & spirits soar now that they are HOME forever!!! This was the first time, Maile let Ms. Mandy pick her up!!! Maile has REALLY come into her own, recognizing faces, who's who in the family, getting settled, etc... she yells as she runs to me when I come home: "Yeah...Mommy "ome"!!!! (meaning, yeah, Mommy HOME!) She still calls Don (daddy) - "Ba!" but with such a cheerful heart now, it's WONDERFUL...we hear all the time, "Ba? Ba! Ba..."


Remember the days of "SIT-n-SPIN?" Here's the adorable NT girls, sitting and spinning together...and getting dizzy together!!! What a treat to see them laugh, DANCE and play together. We are so thrilled to have Anna & Maile as friends and so close together from half way around the world. From DALLAS to FRISCO, it's a heartbeat away, when you compare the states, countries, counties, time zones, etc...that they traveled to come HOME. It's truly a GIFT!


**MORE Maile Moments include: ***
- Maile loves on her baby doll, feeding it juice/ milk and holding and loving on it (and squeezing the dolls poor littl' neck so tight!)
- Maile says, ""Aunt Shell" (short for Aunt Michelle), Jo-kah" (Joseph), "Amuel" (Samuel), "Ba" (daddy), "Na-nom" (Grandma) and "Mommy" for MOMMY!!!! :)
- Maile LOVES to be rocked for NAPS & BED by Grandma Lizzy or Mommy especially :), the BEST feeling in the world to hold her littl' body and watch her fall asleep as she trusts the arms that hold her!!!
-Maile LOVES to eat, and has learned sign language for "more," "eat" "please" - & "thank you"...and "sorry" (but doesn't like to say/ do that one often!) She is eating yogurt, cottage cheese, mixed vegetables now (Yahoo!!!), chicken, turkey, bread, cheerios, raisins, dried apricots, rice cakes, etc...she will TRY ANYTHING...such a CARLSON or what??
- Maile LOVES baths now...yeah...NOW she wants me to get in the LUKE warm/ cool water that goes up to my big toe! She yells infatically, "Mommy, neigh!!!" and points behind her for me to get IN the tub!!! If/ when I finally cave in & get in behind her (NOT a comfortable temperature for me at all), she tries to wash me with bubbles and soap, too precious for words!!! Again, that sweet littl' motherly spirit in her coming out!!!! Wow...
-Maile LOVES to get wipes ONE by ONE and throw them away for me, without being used at all... If it's time to change her, she'll run and get a diaper for me (love that :)) and lay down and say, "No Boop" (No Poop!)

She continues to crack us up, so determine, energetic, sweet, funny and full of LIFE!!! We will NEVER be the same now having our sweet baby girl home FOREVER!!! Thank you God for the 3 littl' miracles that sleep "snug as a bug, in a rug" in their beds tonight!!!

Forever changed, forever blessed...Kim-Lan & crew

Oh what FUN!!!!

We've had a FUN & BUSY June and now it's already JULY!!! We were blessed enough to get together with 2 other families that live in TEXAS that brought home their daughters from Ninh Thuan, VN (from the SAME orphanage & adoption agency) as our Maile (My-lee)!!!! From L-R: Erin got Selah: Aug. 2006 (now age 2); Mandy got Anna came Dec. 2006 (now age 2.5) and we got Maile Mar. 2007 (now age 2.5)!
I KNOW what a special gift this is for our girls, as orphans and friends, since I have no idea what happened to the other orphans from my orphanage when Saigon was falling, the war was ending and our new lives were beginning!!! I always wondered what happened to them...
How sweet is this picture of (L-R) Anna, Maile & Selah holding hands as they walk down the sidewalk together...way too precious for words! How GREAT is our God!!! I pray our girls are able to keep in touch even tho' Erin & her family are moving the CANADA this fall :(. Mandy and I live in the DALLAS area so it's easier to keep in touch, what a blessing!!!!
Happy 4th of JULY!!!! May we truly celebrate the FREEDOM we have as Americans in this blessed and rich nation. We have an awesome gift of freedom to worship our God freely and boldly here in the USA. I am forever changed & humbled by the spirit of the Vietnamese people, they are so raw, genuine and peaceful. They have NOTHING, yet they are so HAPPY. We have the resources to have EVERYTHING and yet we are NOT HAPPY. Our thought process is so backwards...

Many people have told us how "lucky" Maile is to have us, when truly WE ARE THE BLESSED ones to have God entrust her littl' life into our (crazy) family!!! We can offer her so many things to use her potentials & succeed, yet we are the ones with the DAILY gift to see her grow up, learn and thrive. We all love her with every fiber of our being and cannot imagine our lives without her!

Since the DANCE concert, we had our mini-adoption reunion, 4-day DANCE convention, then my best friend from MI & her "3 boys" visited us and Maile's dedication!!! Like I said, it's been a FUN & BUSY June...I have MORE pictures to share later, but exhaustion consumes me again...time for bed!

Thank you for sharing in our love and joy of this littl' miracle, Maile & our family's journey!
God be with you, Kim-Lan and crew
Michelle's verse that I love: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." Jer. 29:11

Wow, Encore DANCE's first season over!!!

I cannot believe it's over, we did it...Encore DANCE's First Annual Student Concert!!! Overall, it was a huge success, 2 shows - right at 2 hrs. each, no one got lost or fell off the stage!!! We didn't have any BIG criers on stage, not even myself - I thought I'd be a crying mess, but I didn't, I think mainly because I was stunned that it was over! Here's some highlights from the weekend, it was so much work...but SO MUCH FUN and worth it all to see those HAPPY DANCERS on stage!

Look at these handsome young gentlemen: Samuel, Joseph & Matthew...back stage and ready to go & TAP!!!

The littlest Bumblebee & understudy, Maile, wishing she knew the DANCE since there was an extra costume!

Encore's Company DANCERS doing the Jordan lift in "I Can Only Imagine," Wow...it was a special production piece. We debuted this DANCE at the State Capitol in Austin this past March!!! God is so good...

Ms. Kim-Lan & her "Ballerina Girls" - they are so precious, I am so proud of ALL the DANCERS!!! What an amazing ending to an AMAZING first year!

There were so many things I could have said/ did differently when it was actually show time, but all in all, I think everyone had a great time, relatively seamless in accounting for the dancers & getting them to/ from stage...show went by so quickly. Wow, I am deeply humbled how even through some personal "storms" and struggles this past year, God has BLESSED Encore Centre for DANCE and helped me bring home my daughter from Vietnam. I know He was glorified at the concert and I pray He will continue to bless and allow me to serve Him through the passion & ministries in DANCE!!!

Huge Kudos & THANKS to the mighty God we serve, my family, friends, staff and my dancers, parents & volunteers that made Encore DANCE a dream come true!!!!!

Signing off again as exhaustion continues to consume my body, praying for GOOD sleep SOON!!! Ms. Saigon & family

ONE Year ago---TODAY: June 12, 2007

One Year ago TODAY, I had decided to pursue the calling God placed on my heart to open MY first DANCE studio!!! We were already 9 mos. into our "adoption pregnancy" with paperwork, payments, homestudies, etc...and yet, the burden on my heart was so great to listen to God's direction for what is now called: Encore Centre for DANCE!!!! Amazing to see God at work in bringing the DANCERS to our studio especially as we celebrate our FIRST Student Concert this weekend!!! Wow...

It was also One Year ago TODAY, that our daughter's Birthmother decided to take her to the orphanage to "let her go." I'm sure the decision to offer her a better life was not overnight nor light-hearted. Oh how my heart aches for Ms. Nguyen today, especially knowing that my daughter was taken one day before she turned 18 mos. old. What were the events that led her to the final decision THAT day? How long had she been struggling to keep her baby alive and could barely do it? What did her family think - did they play a role in her decision? Will Maile's birthmother ever know in her heart that "Thuy Trang" is OK now and safely HOME forever!?? My heart is so sad for Maile's birthmother, yet overjoyed for us to have her with us...It's a bittersweet day, full of emotions and questions that will never get answers...

Maile has come such a long way since meeting her just 3 mos. ago tomorrow (June 13.) She has really settled into our household and grateful each day she is more and more comfortable with our "crazy crew." She now says in English (& sign language at times) - "EAT", "more please," "Thank you" & "I lub you" (with her littl' pinky up to say "I love you.") She is so sweet and amazing....and so sassy too!!! She continues to grunt, yell, slap & stare to communicate her true feelings. She is much better with "Ba" & loves Joseph, still getting aquainted with Samuel and "Grandma Lizzy" (my mom.) Thankfully, she still prefers ME :) and loves for me to nap with her, put her to bed and RUNS to me when I come home from DANCE and exclaims, "Mommy!!!" I am STILL in awe and almost in denial at times to realize SHE IS REALLY OURS!!!??? How can it be true, after 2 years of waiting, praying and paperwork, that we have the littl' girl in the pictures we stared at for EVERYDAY for 5 mos. before getting her!???

I pray her birthmother knows, truly in her heart, that Maile Noel (Thuy Trang) is OK and so well loved and cared for. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning and we will celebrate tomorrow, JUNE 13, Maile's "half birthday" - now turning 2.5 years old!!!! She doesn't know it yet, but we'll have some of her Princess Cake at the DANCE studio to celebrate her littl' life! I cannot wait until this weekend's concert to honor Maile's arrival and all those who have been touched by the gift of ADOPTION. It truly is a gift and story of re-birth!!!

Thank you Grandma for adopting my mom, Thank you mom for adopting me...now here's to Maile, the 3rd generation of God's gift of love & faithfulness through ADOPTION.

Forever humbled, forever changed...Ms. Saigon

You're right Michelle - from His words: "For I know the plans I have for you...to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE..." Jer. 29:11

Happy Memorial Day!!!

28 May 2007

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!
To my husband, my Sister-in-Law, Brother-in-Law, my late Father-in-Law, and ALL the men and women who have gone before (and those who continue) to SERVE OUR GREAT country, we THANK YOU. The amazing gift of living in the "Land of the Free" is often overlooked as so MANY Americans do not realize what a blessed nation we are!!!

I think I took all the RICH resources and blessings we have as Americans for granted until going back to VIETNAM. I do not know how someone cannot changed after visiting a 3rd world country. It really is life changing and humbling beyond words. We live in such a "ME" society here and "WHAT'S in it for ME???" status, that it's overwhelming to think we cannot just HELP someone without wondering the REWARD that will result for our actions... Our prayer and hope for our children are to be HEALTHY, HOLY, HAPPY & HUMBLE (4-H club) and it's a struggle with all the peer pressure and "cool" tech-no stuff out there!!! It's disheartening to know what our boys know already from school (I don't think I want to REALLY know) but I pray they are NOT sucked so much into peer pressure and being accepted that they are doing things behind our backs that we do NOT know about!!!?? ugh.

I remember a friend in Michigan once saying that our kids REALLY need us HOME when they get home from school, more in Middle School than any other time. I have realized more and more how fast time flies by and our babies are only littl' once. Another school year has ended and I'm so sad about that. I pray I do NOT screw it up for Maile and truly enjoy her "baby years" with us. She is REALLY coming out of her shell, laughing, dancing, singing and even yelling around the house!!! Boy, she can hold her own in telling her BIG brothers if something is not right and she is irritated!!!

I will close for now, but just had to share the FIRST :) Happy photo of our 3 sweet babies smiling together. They are each such amazing blessings and to watch their individual spirits and personality shine is the true gift of freedom!!! Thank you God for allowing me to have these littl' lives in our hands and house for short time to "train them up in the way they should go, so when they are old...they will NOT depart from it."

Again, a big heartful thanks for the GENEROUS service men and women who help us live in FREEDOM day to day!!! God bless you!

Love, Ms. Saigon

HAPPY Mother's Day!!!

Here's a slideshow of the passage of time within my family's 3rd GENERATION Adoption that began over 100 years ago!!!! I am deeply humbled particularly this Mother's Day in realizing the joy, excitement and gratitude of adopting our daughter, as it was for my GRANDMA (adopting my mom), then my MOM adopting me! Wow, it's pretty surreal to have our daughter finally HOME with us after 2 years of starting the Adoption journey!

Happy Mother's Day to all those Mommies who have the joy and honor of being a Mommy!!! I remember going to church last year saying "I hope we have our baby girl this time next year..." And, look it, by God's AMAZING Grace, we DO!!!! I cannot believe it was 2 months ago TODAY that we met our daughter for the first time!!! Maile is now 29 months old TODAY as well and while we know we did not have the first 27 months of her life with her, we are thrilled to now a LIFETIME together.

Maile is REALLY coming out of her shell, she has taken to "Ba" (Daddy) - what a blessing!!! I have a feeling she WILL be a "Daddy's girl" in no time...THIS MORNING we were both there to greet her out of her crib and she REACHED for Daddy to get her out!!! Step over Mommy, here comes Daddy! Wow, it was bittersweet...happy for Daddy and sad for me, just a twinge of sadness of the realization I'm NOT her EVERYTHING any more. Thankfully, though, she has found refuge, safety and gaining trust in Daddy to love her and take care of her too as we are ALL so willing to do!

More Maile Moments
**Maile is FINALLY enjoying baths more, loves to pour the big cup of water all over her belly and watch the bubbles cascade like a waterfall. She has NOT quite learn, it's better to keep her MOUTH CLOSED during this event!

**Maile is warming up to SAMUEL, still grunts NO when her big brothers get into her personal space, but has quickly learned to grab the nearest hand near by to drag to the pantry! I think she is still in awe of our "grocery store of food!" She eats ALL the time, still such a littl' peanut.

**Maile LOVES Tofu!!! She ate 9-10 pieces of TOFU for LUNCH the other day, I'm talking 9-10 squares that were 1.5" x 1.5" BIG!!!! Maile does NOT like cottage cheese, there is NO way of hiding it, sneaking it, mashing it, etc...she gets whiplash telling us "NO WAY" when she KNOWS there is any hint of cottage cheese anywhere!

Time to sign off...God bless you and HAPPY Mother's Day!

"May Day" Pictures...

Look at Maile "All dressed up & READY TO GO..." Tonight, for the first time (May 6th) she waved & said, "Bye Bye" and then blew a kiss after saying good bye to neighbors...she is really quite a sponge and so alert!!!! She is getting the hang of this American way of Life!!!

Look at "Joe Cool" in shades!!! He is such an amazing Big Brother to Maile, so kind, gentle, caring and protective of her! I KNOW he will be an awesome Father someday! I am so proud of him...

Finally, a discouraged & disheartened Samuel got his wish of Maile reaching out to him. He thought she didn't like him (which broke my heart!) She finally reached out to him to take his hand to go outside & she is warming up to him more & more!!! Yahoo...

Here's my littl' ballerina in the making!!! Standing tall at 32" and 21# (at 28.5 mos. old) she is such a peanut, but so adorable!!! She loves to "dance" trying to plie, releve, soute, turn & bourre...too cute!!! AND, just started doing SIGN LANGUAGE a couple days ago saying, "More" "Eat" "Please..." and then "Thank you!" The sweetest sign is when her littl' pinky finger goes up and she says, "Lub you" for "Love you!!!" Oh my heart DANCES with JOY to have Maile in our FOREVER Family now!!!

Can it be true???

That I would be privileged enough to be NOW be Maile's MOMMY??? I get tears in my eyes when I look into her BIG BROWN EYES, her sweet littl' face, her littl' arm hug my neck and hold me tight when it's bedtime and I am rocking her to sleep. I just CANNOT believe she is HERE with us and it's FOREVER. I sing to her at nap/ bedtime and for this short season, she ONLY wants ME to rock, sing or lay her to sleep. She will CRY when Daddy or Grandma offer to rock her with a bottle. I am just so honored she feels SAFE enough with me to cuddle, snuggle and let me HOLD HER as she drifts off to dreamland.

Maile is REALLY taking off on speaking English...she is understanding more and trying to say words. In her sweet, littl' 2 years old voice...she now knows four, bive, seck (4,5,6)...we are not quite to a dancer's "5,6,7,8..." but she loves to collect, stack, hold, hide, throw anything she can hold in her tiny hands. She will take anyone's hand (NOW even Samuel's hand :-)) to the pantry to get her a rice cracker, dried apricot, pretzel, etc...She LOVES grapes and bananas, but WILL NOT eat YOGURT if I sneak any COTTAGE CHEESE in it!!! How does she know??? She is such a smart whipper-snapper...

Maile has even done some sign language, starting YESTERDAY May 1st, she did "MORE" "EAT" and "PLEASE" all together :). It was so sweet, even tho' she repeated what we did/ said, she DID IT...and then "THANK YOU" as well!!! Then she jumped up and down with a big ol' grin with such pride in herself. Our hearts just MELT to see her shine and her spirit soar as she gains confidence and trust in us!!!

Another "FAVORITE" moment before I close for tonight, is when I tell Maile, "Mommy LOVES You!!!" She responds back to me in question form, "Ma Yeu Cong?" (But she says it like: "Ma YEEWW-EEE Cong???" with her mouth gaping open!) It's the CUTEST thing to see her do it in person.... When she is drifting off to sleep and I say it, she muttles it but can't quite get the words out, so precious!!!

I have returned back to the dance studio more and Maile has done fairly well with OUT me. Daddy has been able to come home early to relieve Grandma Duty, but I LOVE how Maile gets SO EXCITED to see me!!! She won't let me out of her sight once I am home. I wonder what goes on in that littl' mind when I'm gone, out of sight- out of mind?? I miss her so much when I am gone, not sure Maile misses me?? Attachment with TODDER ADOPTION is soooo different than birthchildren...really the OPPOSITE than we naturally think is "normal or healthy." Does she REALLY know HER MOMMY is gone and WILL come back? Hmmmm...

Oh my goodness, I am just so humbled and in love with this AMAZING LITTLE LIFE that God has entrusted to us. THANK YOU GOD for making Maile for US!!!!!

Forever changed, Forever in love with my sweet BABIES...all 3 of them! Wow...(that sounds like a lot of kids, hard to believe I REALLY am the MOMMY of 3 now, esp. growing up as a "Lonely Only.")

LOVE YOU Sweet baby girl!!!! XO Your Mommy FOREVER! XO

NEW WEEK....NEW JOYS....

THANK YOU for the overwhelming kindness you have shown me last week in prayers, comments, emails, phone calls re. the "mean mom comments." My heart is still hurt, but it's time to move on...You're RIGHT, I will not and cannot let ONE mean, unhappy lady bring us down...I have let time pass to NOT say what I REALLY want to say/ do to this mom and pray if/ when I see her in person, God will give me the right words.

We continue to be in awe of Maile, she is so sweet, funny and SASSY!!! She KNOWS what she wants and isn't very shy about telling us at times!!! GREAT to see her LAUGH and GIGGLE in person...she's got quite a personality, quite spunky and sassy when she wants to be, but so sweet and shy at times too!!!! She LOVES Joseph and looks forward to his arrival from school, Samuel...well, still working on him. He tries so hard but maybe his "goofy-ness" scares her??? She still YELLS when he gets too close, which only makes him laugh...and then he does it again to get the same, if not louder reaction!

Maile is even getting used to "Ba" (Daddy) again and she even reached out to him several times over the weekend and they played, walked around, read, etc... Bedtime, I usually put her down, but if she will not sleep and fidgets too much...she will reluntantly go with Daddy and she cries herself to sleep (in his arms) before heading to her crib. I pray she continues to attach to Daddy, it's "baby steps" and somedays are better than others. Same with GRANDMA, she is hot and cold with her depending on how happy, hungry, tired she may be....I have NOT left her at all since meeting her 5 weeks ago. She will NOT let anyone put her down for NAP TIME and cries if she doesn't see me when she wakes up from naps. Only a few times have I snuck upstairs while she was distracted with playing with Joseph. She will have to be at the DANCE studio with me when I return in May. I am THANKFUL she has attached to me...not sure if she believes I'm her FOREVER MOMMY, but at least she likes to be with me/ by my side!

I will end this entry on 10 WAYS I KNOW Maile is a GIRLY-GIRL :)

1. Maile plays with her purse that Aunt Michelle gave her & puts coupons in it!!!
2. Maile talks on her pretend (& Mommy's) CELL PHONE - puts it up to her EAR!
3. Maile LOVES to have GLITTER on like Mommy!
4. Maile opens her lips when I put my lip gloss on for her to have some on too!!!
5. Maile wipes her mouth & place setting when she spills
6. Maile struts her stuff, wagging her arms & elbows when she walks! Very Confident & Determined....
7. Maile points to her eyes & closes them to have put mascara on her eyes!
8. Maile puts on her socks & shoes by her self (usually the wrong feet :)) and is ready to go OUTSIDE!
9. Maile will POINT OUT in her closet which DRESS she wants to wear!
10. Maile KNOWS how to tell the Boys "NO!!!" with OUT saying a WORD!!! (You go girl, good for you!!)

Still cannot believe we have MAILE HOME forever, Kim-Lan

Heartbroken...

I am really angry, but more heartbroken, because of the realization of how MEAN some people can be...I am trying to shake the comments that ring in my head from this one dancer's mom that said the meanest comments to me regarding my baby girl last night! I will keep her name anonynmous, even tho' I KNOW she would not read my blog, but if she DID--she KNOWS who she is.

While I will NOT let one, MEAN spirited person still my JOY of my getting my SWEET BABY GIRL (that took us 2 years to get,) I just cannot believe a person can be so cruel to say that to a new mom who JUST ADOPTED!!! Her blurting out her ill-filled comments really shows me HER HEART (or lack of one.) It's like telling a NEW MOM who is 4 weeks post-partum who JUST DELIVERED a baby, "Your baby is UGLY!" It really hurt my heart and was totally uncalled for!!!

I feel sorry for this VERY UNHAPPY mom who had to throw such mean comments to me to have me stoop to her level...

I don't know what else to say...any suggestions, let me know...I feel like crawling into my shell. Now I wonder if anyone REALLY does care about our adoption and our baby girl!???

Sick to my stomach & with tears in my eyes, Kim-Lan

Happy Anniversary MOM & THANK YOU!!!!

3 generations of Girl Power & Adoption!!
Kim-Lan, her Mom ("Grandma Lizzy") & Maile together FOREVER!









Look at this silly girl, she's a HAM!!!

SUNDAY 15 APRIL 2007

I wanted to write a couple days ago celebrating the ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY of MEETING Maile for the first time in Ninh Thuan (Mar 13) and then OFFICIALLY getting her FOREVER (Mar 14)...and then TODAY, marks the ANNIVERSARY of ME coming to AMERICA, "Home of the Brave & Land of the Free..." I am deeply humbled and grateful, particularly this year since having Maile and knowing the POWERFUL GIFT of ADOPTION again!!!

I cannot believe how emotional & choked up I get reading the Vietnam Forum entries as Selah & Anna celebrated OFFICIALLY getting their adoption finalized in the U.S. gov't this past April 13!!!! I celebrate with them and completely understand that emotional RELIEF & JOY of knowing their babies are theirs FOREVER & "legal" now in the U.S. Government. It's hard to explain, those who have adopted, understand. While you LOVE, care for & know this baby God has hand-picked for your family is REAL, there are moments you cannot believe it's REALLY true or forever!?? How can something SO REAL and SO AMAZING in this littl' life be FOREVER MINE, are you sure???? I think I am still waiting for someone to pull the rug out from underneath me, or knock on my door or get "the phone call" and tell me there's been a mistake. EVERY littl' step of the G&R ceremony, landing on U.S. soil, ordering Maile's SSN, etc. helps me to think this is REALLY REAL!!! When we FINALIZE her adoption here in the U.S. (like the other families did 2 days ago), maybe I will know Maile Noel is FOREVER OURS!!!! I don't know, it's still so surreal to me to have wanted to ADOPT for YEARS, really pray and start looking into agencies 2 years ago...and start officially with Dillon Int'l SEPT. 1, 2005 and NOW, 18 mos. later of praying, paying and paperwork, WE HAVE OUR BABY GIRL!!!!!

I had a NIGHTMARE last night that still brings tears to my eyes, we lost Maile. I was at a High School for an informal "dress rehearsal" of some play or show...I had a couple lines and I was in the bathroom stall waiting to go on stage (weird, I know, but in the dream, it felt so real.) Maile was with me, always by my side for the first run & throughout the whole dream. Then when I got done with my 30 sec. part, I started looking for Maile and she was NOT there...not in the bathroom stall, no where!!! I was panicked, freaking out and frantically looking through the H.S., I do NOT know if I found her or where she was, but I then woke up!!! The dawn had broke and for a few seconds, I had to think "where am I?" "Did I just have a dream!?" "Where is Maile??" When I realized I was in my bed & she was NOT in bed with us, I jumped up & ran to her room. With a beating heart that was about to jump out of my chest I cautiously looked into her crib, and there she was...our littl' angel sleeping with the sunlight beaming off her bubble gum pink walls!!!! Oh thank you Jesus, for letting that dream NOT be real...praying it NEVER comes true either!!!! ugh....a Mother's WORST nightmare for any of her babies!!!

Just putting her down to bed tonight, singing her lullabies to sleep...tears were streaming down as I sang "Amazing Grace," "I stand in Awe of You, " & "You are my Sunshine..." I just kept singing, "Lord, please don't take my Maile away..." I have such a different outlook on ADOPTION now and think my MOM is even MORE AMAZING than before...My MOM is my HERO, she was a SINGLE mother (& with my Grandma Violet) adopted ME during the end of the Vietnam War when Saigon was falling!!! A single woman adopting in the 70's was unheard of and my mom was marching on unchartered territories!!! She took that "LEAP OF FAITH" on giving ONE littl' girl a NEW LIFE.....ME!!! I am proud to be ONE of THOSE babies from the "Baby Airlift Operation" - and now an American who has lived an amazing American DREAM...Boy, my heart is so full now having made a FULL CIRCLE back to my Homeland to bring home MY DAUGHTER!!!! "My cup runneth over... with JOY, LOVE & GRATITUDE."

So, I encourage anyone who reads this, LIVE the American Dream, you cannot believe the FREEDOM we have as Americans to work, prosper & give to others...take that LEAP OF FAITH! If there is something you have ALWAYS wanted to do, but too scared, Just DO IT!!! Keep lookin' up and pray, God will open or close doors if you trust Him to lead you!!! LOOK for the RAINBOW in the Storm...there will ALWAYS be people to bring you down, bad news on TV, negative comments and complaints, but if we seek the GOOD in people and offer random acts of Kindness, the blessings will come back to you, ten fold!!! Okay, off my soap box now, I just have so much LOVE in my heart and I wanted to share...Here's a littl' poem I wrote recently, celebrating the 3rd Generation of ADOPTION in our family.

"LOVE Circles Back"

*The Legacy began over 100 years ago, Kim-Lan's Mom adopted as the story is told...
*Kim-Lan adopted from VIETNAM into AMERICA: "Land of the Free"
*Destined to be Sandy's littl' girl for the world to see...
*Back to VIETNAM: Don & Kim-Lan adopted their newest angel from above!
*Celebrating Maile Noel Thuy Carlson - a Gift of God's LOVE!

Signing off to clean the house for our "1st Post Placement" visit TOMORROW- YIKES!!

Ms. Saigon

Look how far we've come in just 4 WEEKS!!!!

Yahoooooo, I finally got some pictures from our amazing adventures from seeing Maile for the FIRST TIME, 4 weeks ago TODAY (on March 13!!!) Wow, it feels like a LIFETIME ago already that we went from DFW to Seoul, then onto Saigon. Then a 7 hrs. trek to Ninh Thuan to get Maile and then back to Saigon! Then we flew to Hanoi then 4 hrs. drive to HaLong Bay & back to Hanoi. Finally we flew to Seoul onto HOME in DFW - all in 19 DAYS!!!!! Here are the MANY faces of Maile transitioning into our FOREVER FAMILY within the last 4 weeks!!!! What a whirlwhin experience for all of us...Now we are JUST BEGINNING to settle into "every day life." Maile is STILL VERY CLINGY to me, but doing amazingly well for all the CHANGES and MANY NEW FACES she has been introduced to.

I got teary-eyed driving with Maile today (2:09 PM CST) realizing it was literally 4 weeks ago to the day (not the DATE) that we were looking into those BIG dark brown eyes in person, for the FIRST time, at Ninh Thuan Orphanage in Vietnam. I had to call Heather from SC (my traveling buddy who got Rocco then). We talked briefly but was so good to hear her voice again. The family we shared tears, joy, laughter and memories of getting our babies together was on the other end of the line, miles and States away, but yet so close to our hearts! I wish desperately we could see Rocco grow up, his first steps, first words, b-day parties, etc...but it will have to be pictures for now. We were really blessed to share such an amazing journey together with this incredibly neat family getting their first born son as well. Wow, I am still in awe of how God orchestrates the most elaborate symphonies in life!

Maile is making BABY STEPS toward "Ba" again as she let him take her up to brush her teeth & even carry her to feed our neighbor's bunny last night :). She immediately wanted to find me but she DID let Daddy hold her again briefly. And, again tonight, she let Daddy carry her to feed the bunny :) and even for a littl' walk outside!!! It's those littl' sweet moments that SPARK the heart to dance with JOY!!! It was a beautiful night outside walking as a family, maybe 70's with wind blowing and that crisp, clean Spring scent in the air!! I still cannot believe I have 3 babies now!!! Thankfully, having a 2 years old will keep us young!?? or age me even more quickly, we'll see...I haven't turned grey yet (and I'm surprised with all the stress of waiting for this adoption to come to life!)

We'll update more as we transition home, thank you for sharing in our LOVE & JOY of bringing Maile Noel Thuy HOME FOREVER!!!!

Signing off, Ms. Saigon & baby girl sleeping on my lap right now :), Maile

4 Steps BACK - 1 Forward...

GOOD FRIDAY 06 April 2007 11:30pm (**THANK YOU Jesus for Dying on the cross for OUR sins for you to RISE again as we will celebrate your ressurection on EASTER SUNDAY! - John 3:16)

I have stolen a few moments ALONE with Maile sleeping in our bed to update you on her progress home. Maile continues to delight us in so many ways as she warms up to the boys, off and on and VERY quick to tell them when she does NOT want to play or if they are TOO close to her! She is GREAT at setting those "NO" boundaries and she GRUNTS "NO" and elbows them with her thai chi moves! I hope she keeps it up when she starts dating!!!

Unfortunately, Maile has regressed in her attachment with "Ba"...she has become VERY clingy to me again and when she cries says, "Ma...Ma...Ma..." I don't know if she REALLY knows I am her Mommy, but she has CLEARLY said, "MOMMY" several times (starting Wed. 04 April!) :) - of course, just melts my heart. She seems to be a parrot and really try to repeat some words we say with her, "Hello," "Good bye," "Daddy," "Thank You," etc...it's not audible but she is trying...she is VERY ALERT and takes it ALL in with those BIG DARK BROWN EYES!!!!! My goodness, I can SEE myself in her eyes (more ways than one.)

I was a littl' concerned with her "over friendly" reaching out to others, a gut feeling within I could not shake. As the hours/ days progressed, I could see that she almost immediately retreated from Don and seemed almost SCARED of him. She has LOST eye contact with him (which is NOT a good sign) and we almost feel like we are back to DAY 1 with her in building that bond with him again. It took a good 2 weeks in Vietnam withOUT distractions of big brothers and another other close family/ friends for Maile to finally reach out to Don, play with him & let him hold her. We pray it doesn't take that long again...she still refuses to let Don hold her, play, wash, change & dress her...BUT, she did let Don put lotion on her dried-as-prunes feet (poor baby) and feed her a little today---that is PROGRESS. It's ONE littl' baby step FORWARD...It's so hard on Don's heartstrings to see Maile reach out and then retreat again, back and forth...like a littl' TORTISE in & out of her shell.

Thankfully, she remains to stay close to my side, on my hip or right behind me. Her newest antics include pulling me out of my chair, leading me by ONE finger to the pantry to point to the DRIED APRICOTS that she has come to LOVE. Can you give a child TOO many dried apricots?? ugh...I'm not sure if the DIARREA she has had (over & over again yesterday) was a result from the dried apricots or too much (cow's) milk or other foods in her NEW American Diet!? Yikes, it's sooooo hard to have a BABY in a 2 yrs. old body...wanting to love and baby her and yet think she is a toddler...but really she is CLOSER to a 1 yr. old than a newborn or toddler. She is independent & VERY MUCH A SURVIVOR in many ways, yet so sweet, soft & needy as a baby in other ways. She can hold her own in telling us her needs, the problem lies the LANGUAGE barrier and communication skills to interpret what she is REALLY thinking/ feeling.

I do know that in reading more about "attachment with adoptions" that Maile REALLY doesn't know/ trust that we are HER FOREVER Mommy & Daddy. A normal 2 years old who has GROWN UP in a healthy, American family would be encouraged to seek others that parents trust & recommend as "friends/ family." A strong sense of belonging and trust that parents "know best" and are safe has already been established with the continuity of everyday life together for the first 2 years. However, in the ADOPTION of an older child, especially since Maile's birth mother gave her up at 18 mos. - she HAD that bond with her birth mother, only to learn later that she could NOT depend on that, trust or turn to her mom for safety...Not to mention she had at least 1/2 dozen caregivers in the orphanage that would meet her basic needs of "food & shelter." So WHY would she WANT to turn to me/ us as her new parents for love, trust & security??? So, when Maile GOES TO OTHERS, she is SEEKING COMFORT from whomever will give it and really DOES NOT have OUR TRUST & LOVE rooted into her heart, spirit & mind...It has been and will continue to be hard to tell closest family/ friends that it is in the BEST interest for Maile that NO ONE else hold her, feed her or care for other than Don or I. I know that is SOOOO hard to hear as much as it is for me to say it, because when a sweet baby girl reaches her arms up to you, all you want to do - with every fiber of your being- is PICK HER UP, hold her and love on her!!!! I KNOW instinctively that is what we want to do, especially being a "girl" and a "mother."

This sweet baby girl is soooo unique and precious to us as with all babies that go home to their FOREVER FAMILIES...all carrying a STORY behind the eyes that open wide to the new life they have been flung into (whether they REALLY wanted it or not.) Maile has had 18 mos. with her birth mother, then finally adjusted to her new life at the Orphanage, only to NOW be taken OUT of THAT comfort zone and flown 1/2 way around the world. She is NOW the foreigner listening to this babbling language that sounds funny, eating foods with strange textures & smells & so many over-stimulating sights & sounds. She is NOW where we WERE AT just weeks ago in Vietnam...longing to be back HOME in the comfort of family, friends & familiarity.

So, as Maile may grieve her "old" life and learns to attach to Don & I, we appreciate your prayers in this transition that I would NOT have guessed/ planned for. But, we will continue to LOVE her THROUGH it, there is NO other option...As Maile represents "love, honor & respect" in the tradition of Hawaiian leis for wedding ceremonies for a LIFETIME Commitment, we offer the SAME to her for our NEW commitment to HER for a LIFETIME.

So, as we may take 4 steps back and 1 forward, we KNOW God has hand picked this sweet baby girl for US and we are HONORED to be her FOREVER FAMILY.

Signing off for now to go snuggle with Maile as she sleeps with us (IN OUR BED), Ms. Saigon
--I KNOW that might be hard to believe for those who KNOW how Don has in the past insisted on babies being in their CRIBS...Maile remains to be WITH US in bed...ha ha.

Thank you for your prayers, support & love, we need them...we love you!
Kim-Lan, her 3 boys and NOW & FOREVER with us, Maile Noel Thuy

Can I order a SUPER SIZE dose of SLEEP, please??

02 April 2007...Monday 2:30AM

Sleep does not come easy still nowadays...The bedtime routine seems to be snuggling together in our bed while Maile nurses on her bottle and then we both doze off. Around 10-11pm or so when I wake up with her, I try to put her down in her crib and sneak the bottle away from her. If that is successful then I tip toe out of the room and try to return back to sleep myself...However, I have found myself reeling with all the things I need to do, bills to pay, people to call, documents to prepare...I am exhausted and yet my mind is awake, never a good combination...I am not feeling well, my stomach is upset and ironically I've returned to "American foods."

Monday 9:12AM - I had to stop the last entry and go to bed. I was really feeling sick, neauseated, chills and diarrea coming on...charming huh??? PLEASE pray for rest and restoration for my body & family...we are all so exhausted and unable to think clearly. Don has been working from home and NOT coming to bed at a decent hour and last night when he finally came to bed for the first time being home at 1am, I then got up...returned back around 4am. Maile woke up crying about 4:30am and then in bed with us until we got up to start our day around 7:30am and I'm already for my PM nap!!!! ugh....

**MAILE MOMENTS** continue to flourish and yesterday's highlights included going OUTSIDE. She LOVES the outdoors, points to the stroller and then to the front door...We went around the neighborhood yesterday AM and again in the PM. Last night she repeatedly ran to the front door and then back to me by the steps giggling...We LOVE to watch her find amusement over the littlest things that do NOT even require batteries!!! **Maile even HELD Joseph's hand to GO UP STAIRS last night. That was a leap of progress from the GRUNTS of "NO!" that we've heard from her for "Ba" and the "boys." Joseph has repeatedly loved on Maile, touched her, talk to her, offer her cheerios, etc...and I know that encouraged his heart last night when she LET him hold her hand going up/ down stairs for safety! **Maile meltdown: cries and cries...when she is OVER stimulated and exhausted (like her Mommy), she cries and just wants to be held. Thankfully we left our first gathering at Michelle's house just in time before "THE MELTDOWN" yesterday. She did SO WELL :) smiling and interacting with Michelle's family for Jeremy's 1st b-day party!!! But, by the time we got home...she was crying unconsoleably until she fell asleep on my chest. We were knocked out on the sofa, actually Daddy was sleeping upstairs and Maile sleeping on my chest on the sofa & Joseph napping on the other end of the sofa!! We woke up with Alisha & Lily knocking on the door to bring dinner and we were so out of it...You know those foggy moments where it feels like an outer-body experience and going through the motions...sllllooowwwlllyy!?

We are going to venture out and run to the store now...she does VERY WELL in the car seat and enjoys looking out & singing in Vietnamese. So, we'll see...thank you for your prayers and friendship. We are so excited to share this NEW LITTLE LIFE with you as she LIGHTS up our LIVES!!! To Him be all the glory!

Signing of for now...Ms. Saigon & Ms. Princess, Maile

Maile (My-lee) is Precious, Sweet, Adorable & AWAKE now at 3:33 AM - CST

I think it's SAT 31 MARCH 3:33AM

Within our first 36 hours of being HOME, we've seen the MANY FACES of Maile come out...and some in ANIMAL FORM too from laughing hyeenia (sp?) to whaling buffalo (is there such a thing?) to koala bear hugging on Mommy (my FAVORITE!) Right now, she is a Shih Tzu: adorable & WIDE EYES, flapping her lips making weird sounds as I sit in my bed in the dark typing on my make-shift desk with blankets & pillow piled for a desk! The JET LAG is in full gear as Don is working for EDS downstairs & I have my side kick smiling at me with these BIG EYES & teeth realizing she should be ASLEEP & doesn't want to go to bed!! It's THE LOOK of if I smile and look cute, she won't get mad at me and put me in that awful cage they call a 'crib' in bubble gum PINK bedroom!!!!

I KNEW the FIRST night of her crashing from the whirlwhin travels & sleeping from MIDNIGHT to 10:15AM was too good to be true! She did GREAT the FIRST night, we'd go in almost every 15 mins. from 6am on to make sure she was OK, breathing, not suffocating, etc...it was so light out when she woke up to find us standing there in awe of her, she was not scared but only wanted me to get her out of the crib to start her day! She is a SLOW waker up...or doesn't want "Ba" to get her out of the crib...she would open ONE eye, see him and then shut them again really quickly (& pretend to be asleep.) It was halarious and she did that back in our "VIETNAM HOTEL days" too!!!! Now just hours ago (2nd night)...I was dreaming and thought I heard these strange loud sound effect groans 'unggghh...ungghh.....ungghh!!!" As I approached a state of consciousness, I realized the groans were Maile in her crib! She was not crying, yelling or screaming...just GROANING louder and louder like she does when she is awake and watches me walk away from the couch or bed and doesn't want me to leave her behind! So, we cuddled in my bed & she rested but as I tried to return her back to her crib, she was adiment about telling me she DISAPPROVED of that suggestion...so here we sit, watching the minute hand tick, tick, tick...and hearing her sweet songs & having to tell her "shhhhh, your brothers are sleeping next door" and she GRINS real big & then proceeds to giggle, sing & talk some more!!!! I NEVER want forget this time of the SWEETNESS of this LANGUAGE barrier challenge & her exploration of everything being soooo amazing and entertaining for her!!!!

Some of the BEST **Maile Moments** have been since we been home!!!! She REALLY has warmed UP to "Ba" :) and ONLY really needs/ clings to me when she is tired, hungry, mad, scared or sad...so when she is RESTED, HAPPY & FED...she loves Don to pick her up and RUN her up & down the stairs (usually chasing the boys or them after her)!!! Her down-to-the belly laugh like a "LAUGHING HYEENIA" is down right halarious and we laugh & become exhausted just watching!!!!! Then we've seen this littl' life turn into a "WHALING BUFFALO" when she is MAD or does NOT want something...whether it be her big brothers picking on her, trying to put her down in front of strangers or me leaving when she wants me RIGHT next to her or put in her crib and she's AWAKE (they don't go together right now at all!!!) The best & my favorite is when Maile is a "KOALA BEAR" and we snuggle...she is starting to doze off but NOT quite asleep. She wraps her arm around my arms insisting I stay put...she will OPEN her eyes & close them to make sure I have not left or tried to "fake her out" with BODY PILLOWS...that didn't work! It's the sweetest thing in the world & have treasured everytime she has done that from even the EARLY days of us together in VIETNAM. I really CANNOT believe she has bonded and attached to me soooooo naturally & quickly. From the moment I held her the FIRST time on the orphanage foyer with the wind blowing briskly through our hairs, she held on for the roller coaster ride of her life & never looked back!!!

Some more **Maile Moments** from our FIRST FULL day home include her continuing to pull & play on her ears when she is NERVOUS (esp. when meeting new people or strange situations.) Her littl' left ear is curled in the cutest way because THAT was her comfort in SURVIVING the last 27 mos. of her turbulent life!!! We initially wondered if she had a hearing problem upon referral last OCT. because we noticed it was curled in a bit & wondered if that stifled her hearing...they reassured us she could see/ hear just fine. THAT IS the case, and now we see her littl' dainty fingers play with her left ear--it's all starting to make sense now! Adopting a "older" child is like a UNSOLVED MYSTERY of whodunit...what happened in her life & who did WHAT to make her the way she is TODAY!!!??? We will NEVER know the answers to some of these ??? but we just try to pick up where she was left off and reassure she is FOREVER HOME with her FOREVER FAMILY as we build trust, stability and love!!!

**Maile was SOOOOO CUTE yesterday entertaining herself as well as us with the DIAPER RASH OINTMENT!!!! She would put in on like LOTION on her belly!!! Maile opened the box, got the 'lotion' out of the box, put the box down beside her...then WITHOUT OPENING the 'lotion' she would put some in her hand. Then instinctively she put the 'lotion' BACK in the box and put the box down beside her. The cutest thing is after all that she would LIFT HER SHIRT and rub her BELLY as she put on this imaginery 'lotion.' She did this over and over again, entertaining herself & us as welll for over 1/2 hr!! I got it on video...it was sooooo precious.

**She is SOOOO motherly to me as well as she grabs my cheeks out of the blue to KISS ME or rub my cheeks. Better yet, she has shared her 1/2 eaten cheerios that took her 4 bites already with slobber on her fingers and then offer ME some of her cheerio!!!!!

**One more Maile Moment before I sign off...When Daddy "raises his voice" to correct her or help her...she is DEVASTATED and HURT...and boy that pouty littl' lip comes out and quivers...she cannot even LOOK Don in the eye and the world is ready to crumble over her hurt feelings!!!! It's the most precious thing, OF COURSE it totally pulls on MY heart strings!!! She knows how to work it!!!!!! Now with 2 girls in the house & Grandma...we have EVEN UP the GIRL POWER :)---(and DRAMA in our household!!!)

Well, time to get this littl' nut down for a AM NAP before the sun rises & the boys get up...it's going to be a LONG day, but wouldn't trade it for the world because NOW we have MAILE FOREVER!!!! It's still VERY SURREAL to me, I cannot believe it...I still wonder if someone is going to pound on the door like the Gastapo (in the Dairy of Anne Frank) & take her away from us!!!!! We ordered her SSN# in her VN name & will change it later to her American name when the adoption is finalized on the US side, but at least it's ONE littl' step to getting her to be an AMERICAN Citizen!!! I welcome & look forward of celebrating her VIETNAMESE culture too!!!

Maile is calling for me since Daddy has tried to put her back down...I hear "Ma Ma Ma...." gotta go!!!!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED...

29 March 2007...the LONGEST day ever...and still Rocco's 1st B-day...HAPPY B-DAY again Buddy!!!!

We are FINALLY HOME and now on my second wind...trying to enjoy the FAST INTERNET :) and being able to shower in my own house, pick out a plethera of CLEAN clothes, eat whatever suits my fancy in my pantry, hang out with my babies & just seeing my family again.

Our flight was rather bumpy at times, turbulance was on and off...but we land SAFE & sound in DFW around 10:30AM. I was so excited as Maile & I were washed up, changed into our "coming home outfits" and ready to race off the place to see our awaiting family/ friends. Well, as it turned out...we went through Immigration fairly smoothly, through one line, one room & got all stamped & OKed to get baggage. That seem to take forever, finding 5 bags but manage to finally gather them up. When ready to EXIT and the lady asks why we were in VIETNAM, we said to adopt our daughter...ANY FRUITS or MEATS that you bring back with you?? Don blurts out, I took ONE TANGERINE from the airplane!!!! THAT WAS IT....we were ushered to ANOTHER ROOM in customs where there were at least 20 PEOPLE IN LINE for another baggage check!!!! I was about to SCREAM.... I COULD SEE THE EXIT doors where our family was on the OTHER SIDE & we had to DETOUR because of Don's ONE TANGERINE...he will NEVER live that down nor probably ever eat another one for the rest of his life.... I was beyond LIVID...I could NOT believe we had to go through security for them to find the ONE TANGERINE in the PINK diaper bag, take it and then be on our way.....The baggage claim guys helping out sure had a LAUGH watching us wait in line for that!!!!! We WERE the running joke for them, someday I MAY laugh about it...but I certainly wasn't THEN!!!!

We FINALLY got through security in CUSTOMS which would have been AVOIDED if Don had EATEN the tangerine or NOT taken it with him...I was so irritated I could NOT cry or feel "emotions" of greeting our family. It was NOT a heartfelt, emotional reunion like I anticipated it being and I'm SOOO SORRY for my family & friends who waited so long to see our exit those doors!!!! It was ALL Don's fault and he knew it! But, I hope seeing Maile for the FIRST time made the wait worth while....Grandma Lizzy (my mom), the boys, Mama Karen, Aunt Michelle & Uncle Ken were there & Ms. Mandy with ANNA and her grandma, Karen greeted us joyfully and with open arms and kisses!!!! I was hot, sweaty (probably smelly) and sooooo relieved to be DONE with ALL the lines & waiting!!! The boys looked older, taller and more handsome since leaving them 19 days ago...they were soooo excited to see Maile (who has known her name for the most part as Thuy Trang almost the whole trip.) BUT, with showing constant photos of our closest family/ friends...she did amazingly well and did NOT cry until I tried to put her down. She was a wide-eyed as I anticipated her being, quiet, shy & taking it all in. Anna (who just came home with Mandy & Arnaud last Nov. and 2 yrs. old) was soooo sweet, precious & gregarious...offering string cheese & cheerios to Maile...she would NOT take anything Joseph, Samuel or Anna. We had a "production line" of cheerios to start...Joseph would put in my hand, then Maile would take it out of my hand and take about 5 bites to ONE cheerio. It was sweet to see everyone love on her & welcome her...Again, EVERYONE had seen, known & prayed for her for months, while she had NO CLUE what this "tomorrow would bring..." LANDING INTO AMERICA!!!!!

Maile did NOT take long to warm up, we had a FUN day of smiling for the first time at the AIRPORT (toward the end of our visit), singing in Vietnamese on the way home & :-) (smiling) at the family at lunch!!! **Maile Moments: She will put her HAND out to someone, in hopes they kiss her HAND and then she smiles and giggles. After lunch, the Solomons went to see Maile's (still unfinished) bedroom...as we were hanging out, she put her hand out to Aunt Michelle....and knowing what to do, kissed and kissed Maile's hand/ arm...she laughed & giggled "all over herself" (as Heather would say). It was such a precious moment!!!! She would SMILE heartedly at Uncle Ken & Grandmom Karen (Michelle's bro' & Mom). It's as if she KNEW they were so kind & loving & been praying for her arrival!!!!! She was still shy with the boys, esp. they were so excited, rambuncious & loud...she GRUNTS for NO - when the boys get too close like she did with Ba those first weeks of saying "Don't even think about touching me or picking me up!!" After the Solomons left, we tried to settle in for a nap...Joseph is sooooooo sweet, such a GREAT big brother, so kind & loving & gentle with her....eager to feed her, hold her & help run and get something. Well, the books the brothers bought her were a BIG hit...she EVEN raised her arms to have GRANDMA LIZZY pick her up to read the books!!!! It totally made my mom's day!!!!Then after Maile & I snuggled and crashed for a 2+ hrs. nap, she raised her arms AGAIN to GRANDMA LIZZY & SMILED at her...oh my gosh, my mom was IN HEAVEN!!!!! We both could NOT believe how well she had taken to my mom since she is a "big white woman" (what Joseph told my mom!!!- LOL!!!) It was a FUN evening & are in awe of listening to her littl' voice, laughter & commands to tell Daddy to carry her up AND downs the stairs (over & over again)!!!!! She would SHOUT something in Vietnamese & point upstairs with Don & giggled all the way down, Don got his work out with over 10 laps of carrying her back & forth!!!!!

Amazingly enough, after her bath tonight (which she does NOT LIKE AT ALL, whaled the whole time & spent half the time just trying to get her to SIT DOWN in the tub), she took her bottle & once asleep I put her in her crib in HER room!!!! We'll see how long that lasts, I KNOW I will hear as soon as she wakes up and I'm not there in this STRANGE & CRAZY Carlson household!!!! Overall, great day with seeing Maile COME HOME....she feels strangely peaceful & comfortable which is such an amazing blessing!!!! It's STILL surreal to me, but THRILLED to keep living this LIVE DREAM of having our first & probably ONLY baby girl!!!!! I fully intend to spoil her rotten :) (yet still expect obedience, really!!!!)

Until later, THANK YOU again for those who followed our journey, there will be many more stories/ antidotes of Maile as she adjusts to this CRAZY American lifestyle...and a SPECIAL THANK YOU for those at the airport to welcome us HOME: my mom (who is my hero), my incredible sons, Joseph & Samuel-whom I am so proud of beyond words, Mama Karen, Aunt Michelle & Uncle Ken (& Solomons) who ARE FAMILY here for us in TX & Mandy, Anna & Ms. Karen - whom I adore & appreciate already for forging the bond for Maile & Anna to build a friendship from Ninh Thuan, VN to Dallas, TX!!!! WE LOVE YOU soooo much and cannot wait to see you again, I promise to be more relaxed, less stressed out/ mad & CLEAN :)!!!!

Thrilled our work is done in VN and MAILE is HOME!!! Kim-Lan

"Back to the Future..." - Now in SEOUL!!!!

29th March 2007 - HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY ROCCO!!!!!!

We are 1/2 way there, well actually only about 1/4 way...we still have another 15+ hours flight from Seoul to DFW...but killing time in our 4 hrs. lay over to say we have made the first leg of our journey home!!!!

We just said good-bye (I hope it's actually "see you later" than "good-bye") to the Willis Family...it was a teary eyed farewell to see this incredibly sweet, innocent Rocco on his FIRST B-day and know he will grow UP sooooo much in our absence from seeing him everyday for 2 weeks. It has been an honor and joy to travel with the Willis Family and Rocco Jase (Tuan) is a blessed littl' fella to get Jason & Heather as parents. For sure, the rocky roads, trials & tribulations God's gives us is for the TIMING of His plan...Rocco is meant to be with the Willis' and Maile Noel with us...while we wanted the adoption process to go FASTER (as all waiting families do), we KNOW now how PERFECT God's plan was for us to be destined & united with our babies. And it was HIS timing for us to be with the Willis family, along with Kennedys & Rusts to travel together. While we didn't get to know them too well since they went to Vinh Long, it was sooooo neat to see our families grow with babies in just days together, it's an amazing bond & journey.

While waiting for their plane to board first, Heather asked me the highlight of the past 19 days together (other seeing our babies for the 1st time) and we just rattled so many GREAT memories we shared together as families & new parents on a journey with our FOREVER babies!!!!! I thought I could tough it out and not cry saying farewell to them as they boarded their plane, I couldn't do it...just like the past 2 weeks flashed back with joy & down-to-the belly laughters...sorrow came knowing we will miss out on so many MORE great memories to share with them. The next time we see Rocco, he will be probably twice his size at least, walking, running, talking, eating to keep up with his Papa, etc....We will miss out on those littl' joys, but the bond we have shared in this journey will bind our hearts forever & I know we'll keep in touch....we just have to!!!! It's a GIFT for our babies too...not just the parents.

I can't even imagine the JOY, RELIEF, EXCITEMENT, LOVE & HEARTFELT THANKS I will feel when I see our family & friends in a matter of HOURS!!!! In about 14-15 hrs.+ Maile's life is going to REALLY start over and she doesn't even know it.... this incredibly shy, quiet, dossile, sweet girl has blossom to sing & talk in Vietnamese, grab the phone from my ear to speak (hear who's on the other end), taken DADDY by his hands to lead him places SHE wants to go, laugh so hard that your heart dances with laughter too!!!!! She is an amazing gift & we cannot wait to share her with the world...

I have no idea how Maile (Thuy Trang) will react when we arrive HOME, I assume she will go back in her shell & cling to me as she did when we arrived in Seoul...I do know we will all be EXHAUSTED and probably pretty rugged looking, but MORE THAN HAPPY to be HOME SWEET HOME...with my 3 boys, mom & NOW Maile & close family/ friends...what more could a girl ask for???

Cannot wait to see you soon!!!!! Signing off in Seoul...see you DFW :)!!!!! Don, Kim-Lan & Maile